Tom is lucky enough to stumble into the drunken rambling of the broken soldier, and starts to put some pretty obvious clues together. And we have a natural progression of his reaction to tell Luke and Logan. But Logan doesn't want to buy in after being obsessed about Ellie himself, but not clear exactly why... and clearly they all need to be onboard before pursuing finding her against the weight of such authority!
Just a small note about handling abrupt time frame changes... I have a little trouble tracking the leaps that start just after Tom lays out the lead he has discovered, and then the paragraph that ends with Logan implying that Tom is the crazy one. In the very next paragraph suddenly Luke has already been weeks into investigating the lead! It took me a couple of rereads to realize the jump. I had thought the conversation was continuing still from when Tom delivered the news. Now, there is another time frame change that was flagged by a three *** separator and line feeds which alerted to a change and worked I think.
Thanks Frank. I see what you mean about the timing here. I'm going to have to do some heavy revising of this whole section I think. Sorry. It's been a rough week. Next one will be better. Promise.
As to Logan's reluctance, "...neither do we deserve to" is Tom's way of telling you all you need to know. Logan has accepted that Elle is gone, and convinced himself that she is happy where ever she is, and even if they did have a way to get her back, she's probably better off. Also, when one has been disappointed enough times, cynicism is inevitable, and eventually you stop getting your hopes up. Pretend to not care, so that you don't have to feel hurt when it doesn't work out. I'm sure you'll know what I mean.
The fact that I needed to just reminds me how poorly it is conveyed. Shows me I have work to do. And Im sure you’re going to lose interest soon if I keep having to explain everything.
Well Jenny, I should confess to a probable lack of mental acuity at the time I questioned Logan's motivation... It was past 2am and I was folding up my tent. But I checked mail one last time and there was the episode! I couldn't not read it could I...? But the pea under my mattress was the time framing, and I gave Logan's attitude short shrift, using what gray cells that were awake to try to convey my thoughts otherwise. Sorry for going on here but I wanted to thank you for caring that I get where you are coming from! Once again I love this give and take!
Well thanks my dear Frank. At least I know you are as voracious as ever for Bottled Embers. Makes me feel special. Sorry about the pea... But thanks for telling me, I am noticing that I really need the feedback. It's helping me more than you know.
Unicorn puke... Yep, never going to unsee that LOL good stuff this time around
Thanks Dave. You made me laugh out loud. 🤩
Tom is lucky enough to stumble into the drunken rambling of the broken soldier, and starts to put some pretty obvious clues together. And we have a natural progression of his reaction to tell Luke and Logan. But Logan doesn't want to buy in after being obsessed about Ellie himself, but not clear exactly why... and clearly they all need to be onboard before pursuing finding her against the weight of such authority!
Just a small note about handling abrupt time frame changes... I have a little trouble tracking the leaps that start just after Tom lays out the lead he has discovered, and then the paragraph that ends with Logan implying that Tom is the crazy one. In the very next paragraph suddenly Luke has already been weeks into investigating the lead! It took me a couple of rereads to realize the jump. I had thought the conversation was continuing still from when Tom delivered the news. Now, there is another time frame change that was flagged by a three *** separator and line feeds which alerted to a change and worked I think.
Thanks Frank. I see what you mean about the timing here. I'm going to have to do some heavy revising of this whole section I think. Sorry. It's been a rough week. Next one will be better. Promise.
As to Logan's reluctance, "...neither do we deserve to" is Tom's way of telling you all you need to know. Logan has accepted that Elle is gone, and convinced himself that she is happy where ever she is, and even if they did have a way to get her back, she's probably better off. Also, when one has been disappointed enough times, cynicism is inevitable, and eventually you stop getting your hopes up. Pretend to not care, so that you don't have to feel hurt when it doesn't work out. I'm sure you'll know what I mean.
Ah, now that you lay it out it makes his reaction very understandable.
The fact that I needed to just reminds me how poorly it is conveyed. Shows me I have work to do. And Im sure you’re going to lose interest soon if I keep having to explain everything.
Well Jenny, I should confess to a probable lack of mental acuity at the time I questioned Logan's motivation... It was past 2am and I was folding up my tent. But I checked mail one last time and there was the episode! I couldn't not read it could I...? But the pea under my mattress was the time framing, and I gave Logan's attitude short shrift, using what gray cells that were awake to try to convey my thoughts otherwise. Sorry for going on here but I wanted to thank you for caring that I get where you are coming from! Once again I love this give and take!
Well thanks my dear Frank. At least I know you are as voracious as ever for Bottled Embers. Makes me feel special. Sorry about the pea... But thanks for telling me, I am noticing that I really need the feedback. It's helping me more than you know.