I like this side story stuff. Helps flesh out the characters and the world you are building for us. Even more details about MindSmith capabilities. Thanks Jenny! Now to get back to chapter 3.
Now I have had a little time to sit and enjoy. And enjoy is the right word! I don't know where on your writing arc this was put down in it's current form. It seems still warm from a slow oven. And it's definitely Jenny, no question, with maybe a slightly more linear form. If I had not already been exposed to views of James and Teag, I would have no problem with this as a short story on it's own. For me it's easily a complete tale. But it will easily be part of a bigger mosaic as well, and I hope to see a version just so.
I wrote it up relatively recently actually. I've only been working on sensory overstim over the past year or so. But, offline, not here. This one I wrote up on a whim, while the inspiration held a few weeks ago, wasn't planning on posting it until I could figure out where it fit in, but yesterday, I was late, and sort of panicking and looking through my drafts, it seemed the right length.
As for the idea of making it a standalone piece. I have very recently become aware that I am not a fan of flash fiction. I don't like short stories, especially not good short stories. I hate them, because they -*end*- (and if I could bold and underline that word I would.)
So I would never have considered that, but now I just might. Thanks again. It would need some polishing, I know. I'll get around to it eventually.
Perhaps I misunderstood a little from the intro and the reference to the fragmentation approach on the Slake site. I took your homage to fragmentation as kindling being a loose pile (bad term perhaps) of stories which might join a common thread of a story line, or forever remain standalone in the same universe. And you and I may have a different definition of flash fiction. I don't see every very short story as flash fiction. Flash fiction to me from my first introduction is a competitive writing development exercise, usually timed, where a group of writers take a common theme provided by another individual or group and write individual stories adhering to the common theme and of limited length. Some beautiful work can come out of such a pressure cooker. I wouldn't call your story here flash fiction. Just good short fiction with a conclusion not exactly an end.
Oh my, well that certainly explains a lot. Never thought of it that way before. But your initial assessment was indeed correct. This is definitely a loose pile of sticks. I agree with you on how flash fiction can have amazing results. Even personally, I do tend to work well under pressure. Though I don't enjoy it the way I do when I can ruminate. Which is why I love a series!
Congratulations, Jenny! A great milestone to reach.
Happy to hear that the notion of fragments has carried over :)
I really like this description in the dialogue:
*She can see the dust molecules that cling to the scales on its wings. The colored spots and lines are so intense that they are leaving streaks in the wake of their movement and the black bands on the body swallow all the light that falls on them.*
RE feedback on what I think: I know it's a bit cliche to say it, but I'd cull a load (all?) of the adverbs throughout. The text will be crisper and richer for it.
Oh thanks Nathan! I'm grateful for your fragments. I loved getting to know Jisa a little in your Precipice, but I've not had much time for reading these days. I have to spend the little bit I've got on writing in stead. Thanks for the compliments, and I will take your feedback under advisement. I know this particular piece needs some polishing, I didn't edit it much from its draft form, was in a hurry, but when I do go over it again, I will be sure to take a second look at my adverbs, and I think I might have to be a bit more careful with them elsewhere as well.
And, by the way - Thanks for reading, it means a lot!
Jenny, I was about to write an apology myself because where I am right now is not conducive to good reading, so I have to wait awhile. Then I quickly read your intro. I quite happily will read your 'Kindling' as soon as I'm in a better place. I'm sure it will add to more understanding! Be well and find a few moments to Breath!
Side Note - there is another substack that uses "Kindling" as a name and is another favorite of mine as chance would have it.
I know how it feels to be unable to give a story the attention it deserves, I've fallen out of sync with a few here, for lack of mental bandwidth, hoping to get around to them again when I'm back up to speed. I'm grateful you make the time for me. 🧡 So you never have to apologize for being late with a comment, or even skipping it entirely, if you have to. I believe I can trust that you'll get around to it. I've got you hooked. 😉
Oh this is just the tip of the iceberg where Mind Smithing is concerned, and believe me, Elle has good reason to hate James. Not A mind smith. THE Mind Smith.
I like this side story stuff. Helps flesh out the characters and the world you are building for us. Even more details about MindSmith capabilities. Thanks Jenny! Now to get back to chapter 3.
Now I have had a little time to sit and enjoy. And enjoy is the right word! I don't know where on your writing arc this was put down in it's current form. It seems still warm from a slow oven. And it's definitely Jenny, no question, with maybe a slightly more linear form. If I had not already been exposed to views of James and Teag, I would have no problem with this as a short story on it's own. For me it's easily a complete tale. But it will easily be part of a bigger mosaic as well, and I hope to see a version just so.
Thanks so much! I'm so glad you liked it!
I wrote it up relatively recently actually. I've only been working on sensory overstim over the past year or so. But, offline, not here. This one I wrote up on a whim, while the inspiration held a few weeks ago, wasn't planning on posting it until I could figure out where it fit in, but yesterday, I was late, and sort of panicking and looking through my drafts, it seemed the right length.
As for the idea of making it a standalone piece. I have very recently become aware that I am not a fan of flash fiction. I don't like short stories, especially not good short stories. I hate them, because they -*end*- (and if I could bold and underline that word I would.)
So I would never have considered that, but now I just might. Thanks again. It would need some polishing, I know. I'll get around to it eventually.
Perhaps I misunderstood a little from the intro and the reference to the fragmentation approach on the Slake site. I took your homage to fragmentation as kindling being a loose pile (bad term perhaps) of stories which might join a common thread of a story line, or forever remain standalone in the same universe. And you and I may have a different definition of flash fiction. I don't see every very short story as flash fiction. Flash fiction to me from my first introduction is a competitive writing development exercise, usually timed, where a group of writers take a common theme provided by another individual or group and write individual stories adhering to the common theme and of limited length. Some beautiful work can come out of such a pressure cooker. I wouldn't call your story here flash fiction. Just good short fiction with a conclusion not exactly an end.
Oh my, well that certainly explains a lot. Never thought of it that way before. But your initial assessment was indeed correct. This is definitely a loose pile of sticks. I agree with you on how flash fiction can have amazing results. Even personally, I do tend to work well under pressure. Though I don't enjoy it the way I do when I can ruminate. Which is why I love a series!
Congratulations, Jenny! A great milestone to reach.
Happy to hear that the notion of fragments has carried over :)
I really like this description in the dialogue:
*She can see the dust molecules that cling to the scales on its wings. The colored spots and lines are so intense that they are leaving streaks in the wake of their movement and the black bands on the body swallow all the light that falls on them.*
RE feedback on what I think: I know it's a bit cliche to say it, but I'd cull a load (all?) of the adverbs throughout. The text will be crisper and richer for it.
Oh thanks Nathan! I'm grateful for your fragments. I loved getting to know Jisa a little in your Precipice, but I've not had much time for reading these days. I have to spend the little bit I've got on writing in stead. Thanks for the compliments, and I will take your feedback under advisement. I know this particular piece needs some polishing, I didn't edit it much from its draft form, was in a hurry, but when I do go over it again, I will be sure to take a second look at my adverbs, and I think I might have to be a bit more careful with them elsewhere as well.
And, by the way - Thanks for reading, it means a lot!
No worries at all. Hope you didn't mind the note on the adverbs. It's something I heard a good while back and I feel it's generally good advice.
And I know the feeling of trying to juggle reading and writing and all of life's other demands 😂😬
Nope, don't mind a bit. I appreciate it, in fact. I'm suppose it's quite obvious that I'm self-taught. Hehe.
Not at all :) I'm in the same boat, anyway.
That's very kind of you Nathan. Thanks. And a little hard for me to believe. You're a bit better than I am. 😎
Jenny, I was about to write an apology myself because where I am right now is not conducive to good reading, so I have to wait awhile. Then I quickly read your intro. I quite happily will read your 'Kindling' as soon as I'm in a better place. I'm sure it will add to more understanding! Be well and find a few moments to Breath!
Side Note - there is another substack that uses "Kindling" as a name and is another favorite of mine as chance would have it.
I know how it feels to be unable to give a story the attention it deserves, I've fallen out of sync with a few here, for lack of mental bandwidth, hoping to get around to them again when I'm back up to speed. I'm grateful you make the time for me. 🧡 So you never have to apologize for being late with a comment, or even skipping it entirely, if you have to. I believe I can trust that you'll get around to it. I've got you hooked. 😉
Fantastic! Congratulations on this important Substack milestone! 💫✨💖🥳🎊🎁🎉🎈😍
Thankyoooou!
Okay. Now we see what a mindsmith can do. No wonder Ellie hates them.
Good job, and I agree with you. Routine is everything, and when it's off, I get to where I can't concentrate.
Oh this is just the tip of the iceberg where Mind Smithing is concerned, and believe me, Elle has good reason to hate James. Not A mind smith. THE Mind Smith.
Thanks 🧡
Congratulations! And by the way? I literally could not get through a day without my necessary routines so I completely understand.
Thanks Dave! I am spoiled with my routine. I know. But its one of those things. Next week will be better.
One Foot In Front of the other m'lady