Hulle there, Sparks.
Last time, I gave you Tom’s voice. I hope that you found it a little different. You’ll have noticed that his graphic was very similar to Logan’s from the last chapter, that’s because he is similar. A little more developed, a little stronger and a little wiser, but still just a Manorian boy, controlled by a sense of duty and honor and without Logan’s impulsiveness.
Today we are back to Logan’s perspective. I give you rain for the sorrow behind and unknown perils ahead, as well as a bridge as a path forward.
I know this one is short, sorry. I’ve been too busy with other things again (including fixing my INDEX that I accidentally broke when I updated it - sorry again and here’s a link in case you want to check it out.) Rather than tack on a bunch of rubbish to make it longer, I decided to give you at least the bit I’m happy with.
Oh, I saw Dune Part Two, finally, (another reason my writing has suffered, sorry.) If you know about the Letters from Arrakis series
, and did a while back you know how hard we have been anticipating this movie. They did an in-depth discussion that I found to be really very interesting and entertaining, delving into themes, worldbuilding, and ideas (among other things) in Frank Herbert’s Dune. The movie wasn’t quite what I expected. It’s not all bad, a little confusing at times, but I’ve read the book so I get it. Anyway, if you ever feel like chatting, I’ve watched it twice and I’d dearly love someone to pick it apart with… 😈And here’s one of the letters in case you want to check them out too.
As for our story…
INDEX | Chapter 8 | Scene 1 | Scene 2 | Scene 3 | Next Scene → Coming soon.
Previously: On a rare night out, Tom overhears some interesting things listening to the drunken ramblings of a drunk and hopeless Aotea after Elle destroyed his knee out of spite. Tom puts two and two together about Elle’s location, but Logan is too afraid of being disappointed to take an interest and leaves the investigation and whatever may come of it to Tom and Luke.
I am frozen. Seething, reeling, disbelief, and something, fluttery in my chest that I won’t acknowledge. I spent too long being a prisoner of that feeling. Chasing after it led me down a dark hole.
Tom’s lead was one thing. A thread to unravel. Something to investigate. Then it would take time to gather proof, and then months of jumping through hoops to have a chance at the legal battle of the decade, just to get the PG to admit to having her. I didn’t want to get dragged back down into that hole when we failed. I couldn’t risk it. So I stayed out of the whole process. Kept myself busy with my training and fighting. Remaining just good enough to stay in the running. I took the wins that nobody cared about, and dove when the money was good. And most of all I tried not to feel anyone’s emotions but my own. I’ve been getting better at it.
But it isn’t working now.
I blink. I’m still in the manor’s gym, it’s still midday. My favorite punching bag is still swaying gently on its lonsdaleite strap. My hands are wrapped with white tape. It makes little crosses on my knuckles. Tom is standing before me, smiling like a dragon basking in its own flame.
“Logan, did you hear me? We know where Elle is.” Tom says, and I feel his utter joy at being able to bring me this happy news. For a moment I expect to feel the sour tang of smug satisfaction there beneath the surface and I stare at my brother for a long minute waiting for him to rub my nose in the fact that it was him who found her and not me, but it doesn’t come. Tom’s sincere elation is clashing with my own shock and disbelief.
“She’s just a little way outside the city, less than a hundred kilometers from us.” I hear a voice as if from a distance, and look past Tom to see Luke standing by the door. I turn my head and blink at him in slow motion.
She’s been so close this whole time.
There’s a long pause. They are waiting for me to react. To be happy with them. I block out Tom’s emotions and think about my own. Am I not happy? My hands are shaking. My cheeks are hot and flushed, while my forehead drips with a cold sweat. She must be happy there, settled. I try to smile a little. It would feel like familiar territory to her. I hear the creak of the wrapping tape on my hands and feel my nails biting into the layer on my palms. My hot palms.
I look at Tom. He is grinning, beaming, he hasn’t realized it yet. Luke frowns at me, or is it me that’s frowning? My heart races. I swallow hard. My head is buzzing with hormones, dopamine, serotonin, and cortisol, and I’m burning up with raw energy. She was happy. I exhale hard, my mouth making a little ‘o’ as I empty my lungs, then inhale sharply, failing to get this surge of power and emotion under control.
The gym around me blurs as my mind races. I want to feel relief, to celebrate with Tom and Luke. But there's a knot in my stomach, a voice whispering doubts in my ear. What if it's not her? What if she's moved on, found a new life, and doesn't want to be found?
I spent so long being a prisoner of false hope. I wasted so much time and energy on empty promises. I don’t want to feel that pain again. Thinking about it frightens me. Is that what this is? Am I afraid?
Tom's smile begins to waver as he notices my lack of response. "Logan, are you okay?" he asks, concerned, as the first flickers of flame spring up on my hands.
I open my mouth to reply, but no words come out. My mind is a whirlwind of conflicting emotions. Part of me wants to rush to her side, to make sure she's safe and bring her back home. But another part, a darker part, fears what I might find. What if she's changed? What if she's angry at me for not finding her sooner? What if she wants nothing to do with us?
Luke steps forward, his eyes deep pools of worry. “Take a breath son.” He says as the blackened tape on my hands snaps and curls away.
"We understand if you need some time," he says softly. "But we can't wait too long. We need to act fast.”
Act? I nod, trying to compose myself. Yes, action is exactly what I need. I unclench my burning fists and the heat and flames subside.
"Okay." I finally say, the word feeling heavy on my tongue. "What’s the plan?”
Next Time: Months after the failed demonstration and Misty finally opening her eyes to the PG’s manipulation, she finds herself a prisoner of malcontent. Vindictive and violent, Elle loses herself in training and lets her dark side reign for a time.
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Oh my God can I relate to this line: "I spent so long being a prisoner of false hope."
Good stuff in here today Jenny... You are improving your Mad Skills at toying with my emotions hahaha
So I see it's the moment when Luke and Logan are expecting a commitment from Logan after they have done the leg work finding out where Ellie is exactly... I did have to read through the beginning of the scene again to make sure where I was on the timeline... Logan then has been in avoidance for several months, and yet when he is presented with these details he goes thru a fairly rapid self awareness analysis to reach a decision. A considerable leap in maturity, which is slightly unexpected but good to see. It' is a good bridge toward a healing and tightening of the family bonds I hope.